Tag Archives: death

I don’t write poems any more but I wrote this one for you

26 Sep

I am sick[1] of people dying

Not just grandma’s and grandpa’s past their prime

But Uncles and fathers who

Look like “bad dudes” from

Far away

A sort of brutal Monet

So much fear from far away

So old it has been in the Americas as long as we[2] have

How many times have I stood in

Neutrality because my God said so

While someone died

For reading

The old habits are not dead

Only rewritten as law

As blue blood over brown skin

I worry for my children[3]

Who have yet to be born

[1] I am a black woman I cannot get sick

[2] A misnomer because we didn’t want to be here and we stole the land from those who were here

[3] Brown children are not children but thugs and lawless animals

The end of an Era

18 Apr

My grandmother passed…

Tomorrow she will be cremated.

I regret

I regret

I regret

I regret

The matriarch has left a void

so begins the battle of blood

My Life right now

29 Mar

I am turning into a vegetable. I thought life was busy before, I was wrong. My grandmother went into the Hospital on Saint Patrick’s Day. My grandmother who is really my mother because she raised me and my sister. She is going through Kidney failure, has issues with her heart and liver and is now on Hospice. My heart is melting and trying to become numb but everytime I think I have myself composed tears start falling out of no where. I had been working out for stress relief and health and I’ve fallen out of that.

I’m not writing right now. Well I am but not moving any where. I feel mired. My goals that I had for this year seem impossible to reach and we haven’t even hit month four yet. Someone said to me recently that they want me to help them write politically, socially and professionally and I immediately felt like the task was impossible. My confidence is shattered and my soul is too bruised.  

My bright side exists thus: quiet evenings with my girlfriend, reading, watching movies and staring off into space. 

This makes me think about the book of poems I wanted to write about mourning. 

Adrienne Rich died the other day and that made me cry. I’ve only read one book of her poems but I was sobbing over the loss. Its amazing how the body finds its own way of release.