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Yoga in the dark

15 Oct

Do you know those shoulds you often hear about? You should eat more vegetables, you should go to bed early or you should get up earlier? Well am becoming a hater of all things should. I’m tired of hearing about what I should do and I am nearly as tired of could. This morning though I decided to listen to something I have been feeling like I should be doing. My should? You should do yoga once a day.

You all know I started going back to yoga recently. My mind and body needed to reconnect and this is my favorite way to get them back together. I had been going once a week to a Saturday class at the Y that blows my mind. It’s wonderful but I have been wanting to try to add some additional practice in my week. My idea has always been to add a home practice and follow a video or podcast. It happened one night in the last three weeks.

This morning, I woke up early to discover my carpool buddy wasn’t leaving until significantly later in the morning. So instead of going back to sleep, I crept out of bed (didn’t want to wake my partner) and unrolled my yoga mat in the space in front of our bed. Because my partner and I are limited to our one room, I couldn’t turn on the light because I didn’t want her to wake up and start asking me for/about things.

So I did yoga in the dark.

Now this may not seem weird to some of you but for me this was a very strange experience. I have full length mirrors covering my closet so I had sorted of expected that when I began my home practice I would be able to look at my alignment but as you may imagine in the dark this was impossible. Instead I had to feel my way through each pose. Does this feel right? Is that a stretch or a pain? It was also great to really try to focus on my breath. I’m not sure if I was able to totally sync my movement and my breath but I was much more aware of being out of sync. It was such a great experience. For twenty minutes I let my mind try to stay attached to my breath and my body and not become distracted by the little things around me.

So I’m not going to say you should try yoga in the dark. I’m not even saying that you could. I’m saying what would happen if you did?

Ugh…. Health and Money

8 Aug

So you all know, I did a fruit & veggie juice/chew for five days. What does this mean? For the last five days I ate or drank only fruits and veggies. It was hard. REALLY REALLY hard. But this morning starts the beginning of changing my diet for the better but being able to eat more whole foods and work meat/poultry/fish  back into my diet. I am excited.

The thing I craved the most on my juice cleanse? A beautiful turkey sandwich with avocado. Yeah, of all the things to crave this was mine. Don’t get me wrong I thought about a lot of other things I could be eating but the turkey sandwich meme stuck with me.

My worst day? Day three. My joints hurt, I had a headache, my stomach was irritable and I felt extremely nauseous.

What did I lose? A grand total of 9 lbs. Not to mention that my body looks slim, my skin looks pretty good and I feel pretty good. Now this isn’t to say that I have fixed all my problems or that I won’t gain this weight back as I add meat back into my diet but I’m excited and hoping that this little reboot I did will be just the jump-start I need for continuing a healthy lifestyle.

The first thing I’m eating now that I’m done? More juice! You read that right. This morning I decided to continue juicing during the day and to enjoy a more solid meal for dinner. I will have fruits and veggies throughout the day but I think this is working for me right now.

How much did it cost? I’m not going to lie. It was kind of a lot. For two people for five days worth of fruits and veggies to eat and juice I think I spent somewhere near $100. We did a farm to home delivery service and then supplemented with some fruits and veggies that we bought at our favorite local grocery store. This isn’t horrible but I just started a new job and as you can guess my money has yet to get right. I am now super broke but my body feels pretty good. Go  figure.

Want to learn more about this juicing thing? Check out Join the Reboot and the film Fat, Sick and Nearly dead.

This brings me to the second part of my post today and that is about money. I’m going to rant for a second so get ready. This is a horrible two weeks for me and it isn’t over till the 16th. My second pay check came on the first of the month which is the check that needs to pay for over $1,000 worth of bills.  How much did I make on this check? $950. I panicked. My partner, lovely woman that she is, loaned me money to cover my bills and I returned some things I had purchased with the previous check and I balanced to within an inch of my life. And by that I mean I am overdrawn on one of my bank accounts. I am not happy. Not to mention that I am now at the max or nearly at the max of my credit cards just trying to survive. I am frustrated by money. I wish it wasn’t necessary. What’s a girl to do.

I’m sincerely hoping that this next check will put me in a better place monetarily because I hate borrowing money. Worse, my partner hates to  “lose” money and while I’m cute, I ain’t that cute.

Ugh…health and money guys. Health and money.

This body I built

1 Aug

I had occasion a few years ago to take pictures of myself nude* and as I look at them now it amazes me the way my body has changed. I think I’ve gained weight since I was in college  (when the photos were taken)  and I feel horrible about it. However, I’ve noticed that the dimples on my body (Yes I’m talking cellulite) have actually disappeared. I don’t mean to imply that all of them have, because they haven’t but still. It amazes me what the body can do and does do.

Since I graduated I have been up in weight, down in weight and then back up again. I’m not a fan of diets but I am a big calorie counter.  What works for me sometimes doesn’t work for me always. Yet this body has been a product of those choices. A product of my own design, sub-conscious though it may have been.

Let’s get candid. I’m over 200 lbs. My knees hurt a lot. My ankles hurt a lot. My breathing isn’t great and my flexibility is gone. Do you remember those carefree days when I was poppin‘ the splits on the dance floor? Gone now. Yet, I have no one to blame but myself. Because let’s face it folks, I brought myself here. It was a delicious run but when I look back at all the money that I spent and all the bad food that I had, I wonder…is it worth it?

The GF and I have decided to go on a juice cleanse. A body reboot based on Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, a film by Joe Cross. We’re going to do it for 15 days starting today, August 1st. I am terrified. And I am excited.  I want to feel better and I want to redirect my body to crave things that are good for me. I don’t think a cleanse will fix my life but I would like to see what it will do for my body. Have you done a cleanse?  How did you feel about doing it?



*Not for sexual purposes. Just for documentation.