Reflection: 10/7/2011 Rejection is inevitable

7 Oct

Apologies for missing my reflection from last week. It’s been hectic to say the least. Let me catch you up.

Paly has cut my hours back, budget issues. It’s tough because I love each period for very different reasons.  Right now I am being paid for 7th & 1st period, which those kids are great. I feel bad for my fellow tutors though for whom this job is essentially their only income. I feel bad for 5th and 6th because I feel that they could use the extra hands a little more than 7th. I’ve decided to volunteer as much as I can but I have to make ends meet and that means trying to add more time at the other job. This was supposed to be an arrangement that would get me further away from the other job but it seems that the universe has other plans. Whats worse is that my other job is saying they are over budget on staffing as well.  I hope it works.

The TFA rejection came this week. That was hard. I’ve had a lot of rejection in the last few months and this one hit hard. It hit even harder because I couldn’t show how upset I was. I had to work the whole rest of the day and by the time I made it to the comfort of my SO’s arms I wasn’t able to express my feelings. Last night I flipped out and began uncontrollably sobbing. It was not my best moment. I suppose I know that rejection is inevitable. It happens and has to happen. When I think about it, its hard to think that I genuinely thought I would be apart of the 11% that was chosen. Not because I don’t think I’m good enough but because I know I’m not the type of personality they tend to choose. TFA wants future lawyers and bankers, I am a future teacher and poet.

How do you handle rejection? What do you do to not take it personally?

I’ve decided that I need to take up yoga again. I need to relax and try to put myself back together.

All-in-all working with the kids has been great. Getting used to their personalities takes time and its difficult for me to do for some reason. I need to reflect on that at some point too.

See you back here Monday.

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